Danias Garten

Vom Pflanzen, Nähren, Blühen und Ernten…

Äquinoktium September 29, 2016

 

Mein Geburtstag ist im Herbst. Meistens ist es gerade der Abschied des Sommers, wenn die Nächte wieder kalt sind, die Tage sich aber oft noch aufwärmen und aufbäumen, und den Sommer nicht gehen lassen wollen.  Für eine kurze Zeit begegnen sich Tag und Nacht auf Augenhöhe.

Ich liebe diese Jahreszeit.  Schon seit der Grundschule ist dies mein Lieblingsgedicht:

Septembermorgen

Im Nebel ruhet noch die Welt,

Noch träumen Wald und Wiesen:

Bald siehst du, wenn der Schleier fällt,

Den blauen Himmel unverstellt,

Herbstkräftig die gedämpfte Welt

In warmem Golde fließen.

(Eduard Mörike)

 

Ich liebe es, weil es meiner Meinung nach genau das ausdrückt:

dieses Zwischen-den-Welten-Sein, zwischen Sommer und Herbst, Tag und Nacht, Nord und Süd, warm und kalt.

Es fließt.

Golden.

Es summt und brummt, blüht und wächst nicht mehr leichtfertig, sondern alles weiß, dass die höchste Zeit vorbei ist.

Und verschwendet sich nicht minder.

Im Gegenteil:

Mein Garten blüht in seinem letzten Leuchten auf, bevor die Blätter fallen und die Blüten verwelken. Er hat alles erreicht.

Man hat aber nicht den Eindruck von Verlust, oder von Scheitern, sondern man fühlt, dass genau das der wahre Grund des Seins ist:

das “sich Geben”.

Sich geben bis zum letzten bisschen Energie, zum letzten bisschen Farbe.

Wie ein Lächeln.

Wie Liebe.

Es ist nicht ein Weg-geben, sondern ein Hin-geben.

Der Gesang der Vögel, der Regen, der Sonnenschein, der Schnee, die Herbstblätter: nicht weggegeben, sondern hingegeben, in die Welt, in unsere Ohren und Augen und Herzen, unverstellt, als vollständige Wahrheit.

Und ich kann diesen Sommer nicht aufgeben, ohne mich selbst zu geben, hinzugeben, in das Leben zu geben, mit Haut und Haar.

Diese Schönheit im sich-Hingeben ist das Loblied auf meinen Lippen im Herbst.

 

 

 

 

 

Equinox

My birthday is in autumn. It’s usually right at the parting of summer, when the nights turn cold again, the days still warm up, though, rear up, not wanting to let summer go.

For a short time day and night meet at eye level.

I love this time of year.

Here’s my favorite poem, ever since I was in grade school:

 

September morning

 

The world’s adream in fog’s embrace,

Still slumber woods and meadows:

But soon, through the dissolving lace,

You’ll see the blue of endless space,

The milder grace of autumn’s face

Transcending golden shadows.

(Eduard Mörike)

 

 

I love it, because it talks about exactly that:

the being in between worlds, between summer and autumn, day and night, north and south, warm and cold. It’s all in a flow. Golden.

It doesn’t hum and buzz, grow and bloom all carefree anymore, but everything knows that the highest peak has been climbed.

My garden releases its last radiance, before the leaves fall and the blossoms wither. It has been completed.

Still I don’t feel loss or failure, but I can tell this is the full reason for being: to give continually, to the last bit of energy or color.

Like a smile.

Like love.

The birdsong, the rain, the sunshine, the snow, the autumn leaves: not giving themselves away, but giving themselves into the world, into our eyes and ears and hearts, with no deception, the complete truth of being.

And I cannot give up this summer except by giving myself as well, give myself into life, fully and completely.

The beauty in giving is the praise on my lips in autumn.

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On housework and soul work… February 21, 2015

Ok. Don’t laugh at me.
But this morning I had a spiritual breakthrough while I was… umm… cleaning my house.
So, lately I have been reading books like Thich Nhat Hahn’s “Miracle Of Mindfulness”, or “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp, and the like, and they have slowly changed my life. They’re basically about – to put it in one phrase – being in the moment, and being grateful for it.
It’s not always easy, especially when there’s real problems, real suffering in and around you, when you feel like nothing’s stable and … fair, for that matter.
But I have experienced that going back to that one very moment that you’re in anyway and realizing all that it… GIVES… changes even the worst moments.

But back to cleaning the house this morning: I had so much fun!
HA! You think I’m crazy!
I couldn’t believe it at first, but when I started working this morning ( – and wow, it really needed to be done – ), I found myself more and more aware of what I really did.
I realized that I am CHANGING things here. That I am taking something dirty and transform it into something clean.
Anne Lamott writes in “Stitches” (which I am currently reading): “Every time we choose the good action or response, the decent, the valuable, it builds, incrementally, to renewal, resurection, the place of newness, freedom, justice. The equation is: life, death, resurrection, hope.”
Funny, but all of a sudden my housework became a part of that.
And while I was scrubbing the floor I became so grateful. For the house we live in. For my 3 children, playing peacefully while I was working. For my ability to move my hands and arms. For my eyes and ears. For being able to realize the color of the beautiful wooden floor in the light of this sunny saturday morning. For running water in our house. For our heater. For soap. For all the beautiful things I am surrounded with. For the smell of “freshness”. For my kitchen, for the fact that I was able to arrange the furniture and decorate the house the way I wanted it. For the ability to make things pretty. And keep them pretty.
Ann Lamott (again) writes: “Beauty is meaning.”
Somehow this morning I was able to not only regard the art I make, the songs I write, the things I edit and only show to the world when I think “this is how it’s supposed to be” as “beautiful”, but also the way this house looked and felt while I got it cleaner and cleaner. The meaning the things that I was cleaning have to our family, our life.

Scrubbing toilets this morning was my service.
Vacuuming the floor was my prayer.
Wiping surfaces and washing dishes felt like making music.
And when I was done another thing occurred to me: the act of taking care of these things CONNECTED me to them in a whole new way.
I don’t think I have ever appreciated this house and all that’s in it more than today. And I feel a part of it. It happened because I was in the moment. But at the same time, my awareness KEPT me in the moment.

Ok. This does not mean that from now on cleaning will always be that much fun. I know, I am living my life in circles, constantly moving, leaving, and coming back to where I was before, deepening.
It does not mean that my joy about washing laundry this morning has any great or meaningful effect on anything or anyone.
But Mother Teresa said that none of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.
That’s what I did this morning. And I was grateful for it.
(And, by the way: the house looks really good now!) ;o)
***

clean

 

ON PUTTING ON YOUR SHOES (Ode to my 4 year old) July 1, 2014

I told you to put on your shoes.

You sat down at the doorway, overlooking the big yard.
The sunshine came in through the weeping willow and made little spots on the ground right before you. 
You looked at them. They changed. Why did they change? The wind moved the branches.
The wind was soft, though. It tickled your skin. It smelled like wet grass. It just had rained an hour ago. But there was also a smell of earth. And raspberries. 
The wind made funny noises with the leaves on the tree. You hummed along, looking at the leaves getting moved by the wind, floating, dancing on those long delicate branches. 
A bumblebee buzzed by. You knew it, it has its nest in the wall of our barn. You followed it with your eyes. On the roof of the barn two little birds were sitting. They talked to each other. More birds talked back. The two little birds took off and flew over the roof to meet their friends in the garden.
The lush brown color of the barn against the blue sky. White clouds. Black and red bricks. Green trees. 
Your soccer ball. The swing moving in the wind. 
A little spider tried to crawl under the doormat. You followed it with your finger. You softly blew at it. It stopped moving. Then it continued its travel. You blew again, it stopped again. You smiled. You moved a little over to let it walk past your feet. 
Then you looked up again, held your nose in the breeze, blinked against the sunshine. 
Perfect peace.
Your shoes were standing next to you.
 
I had told you to put on your shoes.
I had done that many times before, then I’d walked away, only to come back 5 minutes later and see you sitting there, with your shoes still next to you, and getting mad at you for not doing what I told you to. 
 
This time I saw what you saw. I smelled what you smelled, I realized what you realized.
The world is one amazing place for our eyes and skins and ears and noses. Our hearts. Our souls.

YOU are the one with the perfect focus.
Keep teaching me, son, please, and don’t ever give up on me and my grown up ways. 
I am still learning.
 

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